Wednesday, December 31, 2014

from 2014 to 2015

2014.

It's been a sort of adventure time for me.

First time I spend more than a year outside West Malaysia. In the familiar shores of Kota Kinabalu. I must admit I think I settled down quite well, partly thanks to a lot of familiar faces here.. from friends to pastors.

I spend most of time studying for my theological training...that's why I am being send here and meanwhile for the weekend, I am serving at All Saints cathedral.

That being clarified, studies so far have been challenging but thanks to the grace of God, so far my studies have been good. Results, most of the time, were encouraging and it really caught me off guard. I admit sometimes I never thought I will do that well. Really praise God and that will encourage me to study hard and do well.

I said it before so I say again -- never thought within a year, I finished so much theological paper.

Next year, more to come. Hope all will turn out well.

Ministry side, it's not surprising to say it's busy. Week in week out, the peak will be when Diocese host events at Cathedral. Like prayer conference and EHS conference. Even though can be tiring, again God's grace always sustained me and I learn a lot from these experiences. Being blessed through it even as I serve God.

My album/music side... well...yes, pretty quiet except an online EP release by me.

I decided to stay low profile for some reasons --

1) focus and prioritized my energy on my studies and ministry first
2) Take some time to slow down and refocus my goals for the music side. See what direction to go.
3) Understand the life here, although it's quite straight forward

I know some may disagree with my points above but at some point, refocus is needed. Sometimes I came to a point where I did think about stopping entirely. I kept going back to reasons why I choose to embark on this album journey. It's tiring actually so I need to ask myself why I want to do it. That's why most artist would take time to refocus. It's good to slow down and not go head-on aimlessly. Most importantly, to know what you want to achieve.

Then, something happened this year which again lead me the question on what direction I want to achieve. The most dramatic thing ever happened to me for album/music side, which I kept quiet until now was actually I received a mail from producers of a certain TV show and asked me if I want to be part of this massive talent search around this region. Mind you, this show is well-known world-wide. The audition for this event, from what I read, attracted so many people to its audition. I actually received a so-called "1st round" bye to the next round of audition because the producers hand-picked me to be on the show BUT I still need to be "audited". I told them I can't fly over to KL due to commitments here, but I send them my audition video instead (since they asked, I find no harm just sending a video).

So with all that happens, that throws me into thinking mode about what I want and what I want to achieve. If you are in my shoes, you can imagine the dilemma I went through. It was quite tough for me although I already made up my mind at some point. The place where questions being raised by myself like "is it what I want?" "would this be a great opportunity?" "would I regret about missing it?"

I admit at that point, I don't think this "talent search" thingy is something I would want. Maybe if you asked me 5 years ago, I probably be more keen. Currently, life have changed, my season is pretty much very different right now and I think I managed better with the capacity I have right now, that is moving around the indie circuit. At some point, yes I want to see my songs out there but time will only tell.

But this incident gave me reasons to give thanks to God. Praise God that my music have captured some people's attention, praise God that I am able to see how He has used me.

That being said, I hope God will continue to use my talents and music to do great and mighty things, according to His timing and season.

I admit I miss performing in gigs and all. 2015 might see me stepping out a bit so let's see how it goes.

Aside that, 2014 sees a lot of interesting things around me...

Like how this country went through tough season. Keep it short, this country really need God.

MU.. transiting from that Moyes era to LVG reigns. LVG is bringing the goods so far, I am loving the form they have. Let's hope it ends with some trophies.

All in all, there are some achievements (big or small) that I am proud of and at the same time, there are some regrets. I won't be dwelling in those successes or regrets but I want to move on to 2015.

I believe it's exciting year yet. Yup, I need to echo the usual quote : "the best is yet to come..."

Hereby too, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to friends near and far, also asking your forgiveness for any shortcomings.

May you have an exciting and fruitful 2015.

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