tough calling

Last few days, well, since it's near end of the year, it's good to recap the year a bit and plan ahead. You may say, hey bro, it's only September but many things to consider if I wanna make 2013 worth while.

I have set all my 2012 targets near last year and looking back, I thank God I able to do what I have set.. like studying part-time, releasing 2nd album and tours... but things gonna move on and hope the next year will be better.

I been re-examine my life.. asked God many times am I at the right place? God said I am. Plus other questions. Amazingly in one way or another, He spoke. Oh yes, He is real. really.

With that, it's time I progress and time to take the pace to the next level.

If you asked me, I never keen to be pastor. Obviously to lead a church is never a calling. I said many times, if i have to take up that title, worship pastor is the level i willing to reach. But to reach such level,  man, I would say sometimes the system can be frustrating. I wish some things can be more direct and open. oh well, humans.

Anyway, I came to a point I am ready to launch to new areas. Studies and also progress in my music career. Both path I would say, never been easy. Never been easy. Never.

I wished I can blame everything I see for where I am.. making my life difficult in progressing in both areas. To be a musician/artist in Malaysia is tough enough already, to be a worship pastor equally same.

So yes, it's tough calling man. Tough calling.

I've been holding on to this calling and His promises for years. Each time I feel like giving up, it feels as though it's not the most sensible thing to do so. It's like there's this glitch in my system says you can't forget that part of the file.

I sometimes wish I can be like all friends but perhaps there's reason God has set me apart. And He wants me to discover it.

So, right now, praying to see which doors God will open.