Monday, February 1, 2010

5th week of Jan2010

If there's any animal I feel I can relate to right now, it's wolf.
It's hard to explain here 'cause it's complicated but then..
Deep in my heart right now, sometimes I feel I m looking for atonement and redemption.
Things in life making me sometimes tired to think about it. Sometimes I m annoyed and hurt by things I heard. Sometimes I m annoyed by people's wrong impression. But then, it's part and parcel of life that we have face and then move on. I cant control people's thought and mouth. I just not God.
Lately been busy with work and if you ask me honestly, sometimes I feel like throwing my temper.
Maybe people have expectations and I myself put expectations on myself. There were days I m frustrated that I cant do what I suppose to do and I cant even get a chance to fill my tank.
You all want this and that, do you all ever ask me what I want, care how I feel? No. Sometimes I m sad because of so.

Salvation is always found in God's word. I realize how important devotion is to keep one close to God. Even though there's so much burden and work, I begin to realize that to be where I am now is actually a privilege. Serving God is a honor. Sometimes, when the going gets tough, tough gets going.

Maybe now I know why I feel like a wolf. It's always good to hunt in a pack (hangout with friends, working together with people) but there are times I just need to be alone, just look at the moon and just ponder/reflect about life and God. It's always a battlefield of minds - one side of me feel like giving up and another part of me just want to soldier on and fight the good fight.

My week basically like that. Besides all the good makan time I have through out the week. Be happy whatever small blessings and reminders.

There are big ambitions in me; personal and ministry-wise. I think time to time again I try to share some. Either here or personally to people.

I m sorry this entry seems so tiring and emotional. That's how I feel sometimes. Sad to say it's part and parcel of life I face everyday. It's my way to let it go here.

On the consolation, one thing I m thankful to God for is He always mold me day by day. I think I more steady than one year ago, meaning everyday He always strengthen me to walk with Him and let me learn something new each day. It's a hard process but it's all good..

It's true how that worship song goes -

Every new day, Your glory unfold,
Filling my eyes with Your treasures untold,
Your beauty of holiness brings worship anew,
My greatest love is You

1 comment:

yauwei89 said...

Be strong! :) God always faithful,aight!